Too Many Roles

We always play different roles in life. We play a role as a son/daughter, a sister/brother, a husband/wife, a father/mother, a friend ... the list goes on and one. I always think that we should play the role as best as we can, or at least to try to do that, by being the best person we can be. Finding the balance, I always thought. But lately it seems to be harder and harder, especially when there are more roles to play. As a single woman, I turn into a wife when I got married (one more role added) and also be somebody's in-law (another role added). As a daughter, I turn into a mother when I have my first child (yet another role added). So there it is ... 3 more roles to play.

One more thing ... I know we're not supposed to keep everyone's happy, but I was raised as a sort of 'peace-maker'. My mom always taught me not to fight with relatives (although the person can be so annoying at times) and always try to be nice to everyone.

What's bugging me lately is how I should 'play' the role as in-law. My husband is having sort of a fight with his family, and I feel like I'm caught in the middle. I tried to just be me with his mother and siblings, but it's odd going to their houses without my hubbie. And although my husband didn't say this directly, I feel like he didn't like it if I hang out too much with his siblings anymore. I know my mother in law expects me to be the one to tell my husband to stop fighting, but she also knows how hard-headed his son is when he thinks he is right. So there I am ... trying to be a good wife and be a good daughter in law at the same time. I wanted to be both, but I know I can't.

Am I getting too personal again? Arghh, I hope not. My lesson is just that I have to stop trying to make everyone happy. It's just not possible. I need to forget what other people expect of me, and be what I expect of myself.


  1. I think we all go through that. But I also think that it's important to occasionaly put yourself at the top of the list. Make sure you have heaps of happy days.

  2. I think you summed it up very nicely in the last sentence. Be who you are, there is no way to please everyone else.

    Be happy,

  3. Jase: You're right. We need happy days to continue in this journey of life.

    SQ: Thank you so much :)

  4. Good advice, I tend to always want everyone to be happy as well.

    Thanks for visiting Sasha


  5. do thigs that make u comfy.. not the other way around.

    ps : belom kelar juga masalahnya?

  6. Hiya - nice blog - i hope business picks up soon ... oh and here's my blog!

  7. It's hard for a natural "fixer" to walk away from unpleasantness that she thinks she can help with but really, get a tight grip on yourself, smile sweetly at everyone, then go do something safe somewhere where people aren't trying to get you into trouble with one another. It's your husband and his family, not you. Repeat after me, it's not my problem, it's not my problem. And good luck!